SO, it’s been a WHILE! In fact, it has been almost TWO YEARS since I wrote for my personal blog. A LOT has happened in that Two years and this “piece” is something I’ve tried to write, and felt guilty about NOT writing for almost the whole of my absence.
The subject of this blog, is in places a lot more serious than others but I will still start with my usual scene setting paragraph to keep it OG.
DRINK: Squash in one of those bottles that force you to drink. Due to the fact that lockdown 3.0 has made me probably 3 times the alcoholic, it is important that my daytime drinks are all hydrating.
BLOG THEME TUNE: Deaf Havana… their first album, plus some YOUMEATSIX thrown in there. I am trying to connect with my young inner emo kid as I am 32…. TOMORROW!
OUTFIT OF CHOICE: Huge black oversized hoodie that says “ICON” on the front, some blue faux snake skin cycle shorts and crazy tie-dye crocs with a yin yang symbol and a K forced into the holes.
Right, now, the serious stuff… I’ve put off doing a blog like this for some time, as, I’ve not really known the right way to share what has been happening in my life and I haven’t really felt the need to, but I’ve realised, it’s important. Important for me to digest the changes in my life over the last few years and also now (can’t believe I am saying this) but to think about ways to embrace our new world.
So let me put this into perspective, since we “spoke” last, there has been and still is a global pandemic. I got divorced, met someone amazing, had another SON! Worked on MANY awesome projects and have just started my biggest project yet, something that I have dreamed about for a long time. Yeah, give that a minute to sink in.
So let’s break that down.
This isn’t something I want to share much about as it’s not just MY story. This obviously effects other people one of those people being my eldest son. All I wish to say is that sometimes life doesn’t work out the way you always imagine it to. I am a strong believer that everything happens for a reason, yes I know that is cliche, but cliches are cliches because they are true. Obviously in an ideal world you imagine that when you get married it will be forever, that you will remain the same and if not, you will grow together. That unfortunately cannot always be the case. The important thing is Mason is at the forefront of everything I do and he is a happy and intelligent boy who is absolutely THRIVING.
MET SOMEONE AMAZING/HAD ANOTHER SON
Yes, you read that right. It shocked me too. After my split I decided it was time for me to be single (haha thanks universe!) and to have some casual fun. I decided to add the ever popular, ever disgusting dating app TINDR to my phone. I was instantly obsessed with the pile of fuck boys in my DMs and was starting to embrace my new “life”. That is when a really nice guy popped up! (they say good things happen when you least expect them to). And it’s so funny because initially I wasn’t interested because yes he was hot as hell but, he was actually nice, considerate and CARED about my feelings! and much like every other girl going through a self destructive “bad boi phase” I wasn’t looking for this at the time… but what I began to realise as time went on… and he was persistent! Was that I actually needed him! I needed someone to be gentle with me, someone to work with me and someone who would help me get through all of my obvious issues patiently and respectfully. Those people ladies and gents are the real “bad boiz”. Those men are seldom celebrated and they should be. The ones that deal with period mood swings, the ones that help equally with the babies, the ones that see life as a shared responsibility, the ones who deeply love their mothers, the ones that will “make you cry” with music because you need to “let it out”. Those are the guys that we need. Those are the guys that struggle through their own shit to ensure you are protected. Those guys deserve the fucking world and it is one of those guys who I fell for, fully out of my chair onto the floor fell… “head over wheels lets say”.
Now to the most crazy part, the baby. So, we met, and from there we saw each other when I was alone (roughly two times a week). We talked all day every day, and most nights until we fell asleep. And five weeks later we discovered that there was a new human destined to join our crew. This. Was. A. Shock. And obviously something that we hadn’t planned on making happen at that stage of our relationship and it was a massive decision. We debated, we wrote lists, we went back and forth, we decided that it was insane, but it just felt right. So, after a right swipe and five whole weeks of “dating” we did it, we had a baby and it was the best decision I’ve ever made. That baby is now nine months old and has taught me so much about life and love. He is laidback and a genuine happy soul and after the worlds roughest pregnancy…. he looks just like his Dad (thanks Hunter). He taught me how to be a mother of two, how to plan our lives, how to work as a team, how to be patient and how to strive for my family. I love that kids dribbly little face and the way he runs around the house using his walker as a battering ram. I love the way he says “GOI GOI GOI” on his dummy when he’s tired and I love that I get to see him grow up and that he is OURS every day forever.
I am so excited for 2021, 2020 was a right off for most, not for us as we had a distraction in the form of Hunter, but now, in 2021 I am working my ass off to NEXT LEVEL life for my family. I have got so much I can’t wait to share with you including the opportunity of my dreams! (LAUNCH PENDING!). So expect another piece about all of that soon. I will leave a little side note here. There are some people who have made this possible for me, not just my family and close friends but those contacts that have stuck by me for my whole career and are always thinking of me and collaborating with me on all of my crazy schemes! Those people have a huge belief in me, those people make me a dreamer, those people help me to turn my ideas into reality and support me no matter what. And for that. I am eternally grateful.